A few years ago I found this little thing on my blog that keeps track of page referrals. I was thrilled/disturbed to discover my words were a resource for immunization-seeking, parasitic, shingly or scabie ridden people who have blood in their stool but want it to turn out okay, for those seeking life-changing moments in either Paris or unemployment, for pregnant women in 19th week, and also for the Jewish. Go ahead. Google “stirrups doctor Indonesia me“, there I am. Top of the page.
Tonight I logged on to see which health issues I might be inadvertently talking people through this year. Parasites? MRSA? It turns out, I have become quite influential in the field of… raccoons. Over 200 searches with 3-5 hits each, on the following (actual) searched topics:
Happy Thanksgiving raccoon
Raccoon driving a car
Smiling raccoon photos
Raccoon climbing wall
Raccoon in red truck
A raccoon having sex
Mean raccoon pictures
World record raccoon
Raccoon in school
Funny raccoons driving
Strange raccoon behavior
Cute outfits for raccoon
Raccoon street in Belize City
Raccoon at bus stop
Raccoon in car
What?! I would deny any association to this raccoon business, except for that one time when I actually did post a picture of a raccoon chained up in the back of a truck in Belize linked with the following sentence: The minute I caught that first campfire and coconut smell and saw my first raccoon on a chain in the back of a truck, I knew I was home in BZ.
Just like that, my blog-fluence was hijacked by this raccoon. Although, honestly, he looks very sad. Maybe it’s not his fault? Just his other dancing, mean, sleepy, smiling, world-record breaking, ninja ones driving cars, and on the phone in cute outfits, or else the wet and thieving ones in the Caribbean. It was probably those guys.
Raccoon searchers, you’re the best. Thanks for keeping this space active.
Honorable Mention Searches
lipglosses that are exotic colors
(Guilty as charged)
denise sex fort wayne video
What kind of space do you think this is? (And Denise who?)
“peed her pants”
Yep. Google knows me.
hallmark card “thinks I’m funny”
Punchline: they didn’t
(Seriously, Google? I’m working on it)
friends are just parasites
I’m sorry. Did you say Sprinky Lobster?
kickball angry pirates
Yeah I got all those things
2 thoughts on “My blog brings all the Raccoons to the yard”
ummm how on earth do you find this out?!