Our Paranormal Bike Adventure

Sometimes you hop on the bike and everything in the world is normal. Other times, these things happen:

It’s just you and the open road… And some cattle.

…And some kids. Following you down the road in the middle of nowhere.

When out of the corner of your eye, you see the cattle again. PLAYING VOLLEYBALL!

You shake your head and keep riding.

Shortly after, you are led by a local to a magical oasis of bamboo huts over a pond!

The huts are free to use, and a waiter comes up to take your order.

You look around and notice everyone picnicking. You are surrounded by music and laughter and fishing and napping. Nice!

You order a coke.

Suddenly YOUR coke arrives in its own picnic basket!

You kick back with your coke and your husband and your little picnic basket and discuss dreamy things like freelance writing and photography gigs and pizza shops.

You hop back on the bike and notice this duck holding avocados in the middle of nowhere.

Then you notice a sign for another picnic area. You’re curious. You follow the signs down the road until you can’t go straight any further, and follow the arrow left. Then you go straight until you can’t go any further, and follow the arrow right. Then you go straight and right, and straight and left, and straight and right for half a mile, through an alley village lined with kids shouting, “hello!”, and you find yourself at another pond!

Only this one has a VIP hut.

You are escorted to the hut, hop on to the swinging hammock, and order a couple of Angkors. You ask for peanuts, which are usually served with beer. The lady looks confused. You try to act out peanuts, and when that doesn’t work, you say “Snack!” A look of recognition crosses her face, and she says, “You need snake?”

THIS is what comes out.

Not peanuts. Potentially snake.

“The men here eat this when they drink beer,” she says. “It’s free for you.”

You drink the Angkor, Jeff tries a couple bites of the slimy-looking thing and throws the rest into the pond when no one is looking. You thank the lady, pay and hop back onto the bikes.

You continue riding and come across this little dude scratching his name in the sand. Cute.

You visit for a minute, snap a pic, turn around…

and THIS guy is coming toward you with a giant snake trying to scare you!

You escape the snake. About ten minutes later, it starts to pour. And ten minutes after that, you hear the crunching of gravel on your rim.

Your tire is flat.

Fortunately, you’re in front of a bike shop! They give you a brand new tire and fix Jeff’s brakes for a total of $2.

While you’re waiting, at least 40 minutes from home and in the pouring rain, the security guy from your house pulls up. He is on his way to work- TO YOUR HOUSE! It’s 5p.  You’ve been gone for four hours.

You pay the bike guys, say goodbye to the security guy, and take off again in the pouring rain towards home. You turn a corner…

…and run into THIS guy!

What are you doing here? What are YOU doing here?!

You book it home just in time for dinner, the security guard arrives, and you ain’t even mad at the rain.

All in all, a spectacular day!