Flak Vest with Kevlar Plates

Hi, it’s me again. I had to take a little internet break, because I almost came back to disclaim everything from the last post. Pride has a way of making you want to shout: WE ARE OKAY. NOTHING TO SEE HERE. EVERYTHING IS FINE. even though you let your own self out of the closet.  But then J reminded me: this experience has drawn us closer to God, demonstrated our frailty, and humbled us. Sometimes those things feel uncomfortable, and part of humility is being okay with people feeling sorrow on your behalf.

(But seriously, we are okay.)

To everyone who reached out earlier in the week: Thank you! Our phones and inboxes were filled with messages from friends and family offering support and love. Some of these messages were from right down the street, people we see weekly. Others were from old friends we haven’t spoken to in 15 years in other states and countries. Many are walking the same journey at this exact moment. To quote Kim again (she’s good at this, obv):

However you’ve come to join this community—infertility, miscarriage, stillbirth, interrupted adoption, or other form of desire unfulfilled, may I offer you a very sorrowful welcome? What I’d really like to do is come over to your house, wrap you up in the coziest blanket you own, pour you an inappropriately large glass of wine (if wine isn’t your thing, please have mercy on us both and substitute “hot tea” wherever I mention it), and just sit.

Yes, that.

To those who are walking alongside us: I know that down the road when/if we become parents by whatever means we’re able, I’ll likely have thrown the journey aside for the prize, and God’s work is evident in the journey, whatever the outcome. If we’re never able to become any kind of parent in any way, or if 3 weeks from now, you find me rolling on the floor eating a sleeve of Oreos, you’ll be able to point me back on track with my own words. At least it’s documented.

God has protected our hearts, and save for just a few of moments of despair, we are hopeful.

A couple of months ago, my mom posted this status on Facebook, and here was my brother’s response (If you don’t have a funny brother, go out and get yourself one):

What are some ways YOU guard your heart? “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life. (Proverbs 4:23 NLT)

Bryan Wilson Flak-Vest with kevlar plates in them………and my Jesus Chain

Brooke Hartman I usually just check the weather radar and stock up on water and canned goods. Sometimes I sit on my heart’s porch with a shotgun, though.

Bryan Wilson You mean, you haven’t heard of the Heartometer 3000….ADT sells them in a package deal with your home alarm system..It comes with a little heart pendant to wear on your shirt to let people know you are “protected”.

Trisha McInnis Sellers You guys are brats and you’re probably going to hell for making fun of your mother

Bryan Wilson You should have picked up the Heartometer 3000 or invested in a vest…you might not have been offended by this!!

Brooke Hartman Mom, obviously your heart is exposed. Guard that thing!

Bryan Wilson Brooke, can you check your warranty paperwork…I think it also cover “not going to hell”….but I’m not sure???

Brooke Hartman My agent is Jesus. I’ll just ask him. He said yes. Policy is good for life. And death. Boom.

Bryan Wilson Mom….we can save you 15% or more on heart protection…Just make the switch – it’s so easy a Brandon Wilson can do it!

So here we are: piled under flak vests with kevlar plates, Bry’s Jesus chain, a shotgun on my heart’s porch, the Heartometer 3000, warm cozy blankets and large glasses of wine, and cross-country hopes and prayers from friends and family. J and I are wrapped in love, hope, and a pretty solid dose of laughter.

In some supernatural way, God has made us glad. Thanks, God. Thanks, friends.

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Love Me

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Melcher

So, the plan was to go to Guatemala (only a few miles away) to Melcher so I could purchase all my little souvenirs for all of you, at a cheaper rate. You know, the little beaded bracelets and coin purses and things that say Belize? I made a checklist to be organized, because I break into a frenzied sweat when trying to buy souvenirs. Just ask Elaine, who sat with me on the floor of a German supermarket while I tried to figure out what kind of chocolate to bring home, and for who, and how much? It was stressful.

Anyway, the first thing I bought was ice cream- not on the list. Then I followed Francis around for an hour through rows and rows of clothing- not on the list. Then we stumbled upon this amazing little shop owned by real, true full-blooded Guatemalan Indians and purchased two bags of things not on the list. But CUTE things, okay? Including a little handmade Guatemalan sundress for baby Lily.

I never even saw one beaded bracelet or coin purse or anything that said “Belize” so, Erin, sorry. I am still going to do my best to find you the coinpurse that says Belize, but if I come home empty-handed, you’ll know I tried… I can still check that one place by the river…

Anyway. Here are some pics of the day.

Me & Francis

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Me & the Indians

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France & the Indians

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Dwayne, Frances, Me & Inez

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After hours and hours at the Indian shop

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Inez & Dwayne (on the streets…)

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PS- My brother, Ben, graduated from boot camp/AIT on Thursday. He was one of 3 people (out of 190-something) to receive honors and a promotion to the next rank- go boonjy! He leaves for Alaska tomorrow, where he’ll be stationed until he leaves for Iraq in August.

He told my mom, “Yeah, the tower was the scariest thing I’ve ever done. Man, looking down from there and having to repel down, i mean it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, I’m so afraid of heights.”
And then he said, “When I get to Alaska I’m putting in for Airborne school.”
Good ol’ Boonjy.

He’s third from the right. The cute one in the back.

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Love you Ben!

 

Boonjy

My brother, Benjamin Lee Wilson (known affectionately as Boonjy, or sometimes Boonjermin) turns 21 today! I would write something embarrassing about him, but then my grandma would march out of the kitchen straight to Belize and say, “Nobody talks bad about MY American soldier!” so I’ll leave it at this:

Of all the brothers, Ben always ALWAYS offers his bed when I come home, even if he is on leave from boot camp, and sleeps on the couch. He is also the only brother to call me in Belize with his precious 8 minutes. That was so special. He doesn’t even have a phone!

Cheers Boonjy!

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Bryan Buffington Wilson

Bryan Buffington Wilson

That’s right. I said Buffington.

He’s the type of brother to walk into your gymnastics class and do a standing back tuck, when you’ve been practicing for over a year—he was just there with your dad to pick you up.

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Today is his birthday.Happy birthday Bryan!

Update: I am teaching two classes in the morning and doing an art activity with the Infant classes in the afternoons at the San Marcos school. Here are my new classes:

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Classes on Tuesday afternoon were canceled to clear a soccer field.It was only supposed to be the standard 4, 5 & 6 classes, but the smoke was so bad everyone had to go outside. I got a kick out of the infant classes- they just pulled up their plastic chairs and watched, like it was a soccer game or something:

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I did not get a kick out of the tarantula…

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Tomorrow election day in Belize, so all schools are closed tomorrow and Friday. That means 2 days off, yahoo!

Miss you!
Love you!
Tell my brother happy birthday if you know him…